Why Do Christians Shoot Their Wounded?: Helping (Not Hurting) Those with Emotional Difficulties

As a Christian, emotional/behavioral issues are difficult to talk about even with those you trust in your church.. While sin causes so many issues that could be avoided, it's refreshing to see that someone actually understands how situational and biological problems also have a role in some cases. If you are a lay person struggling with guilt of anxiety/depression or a leader that doesn't understand people with these issues, I highly recommend you read this book.

I am a Christian, but I have also been diagnosed with severe anxiety and also major depression. I have experienced firsthand the wounding that can result from well-intentioned, but woefully uninformed Christian's and pastors. In fact, this is a major reason why I didn't go to church at all for over 3 years. I have experienced past answers and an expectation of a quick fix. As a result, I am very wary of sharing my struggles with other Christians unless I know they have struggled with mental health issues as well. It is sad, but I have found more support and understanding from non Christians. It should not be that way!I am incredibly fortunate to go to a Church that true accepts everyone. No matter your story, struggles or questions. It truly is a safe place. The Senior pastor is an outstanding expository preacher. But more importantly he doesn't put himself above anyone. He freely admits his own shortcomings and struggles. He is willing to share stories from his own experience that you would never expect a pastor to share. He is also willing to discuss mental health issues from the pulpit. I have heard him preach on anxiety and depression. Every year, my Church has a conference on Faith and Suicide. A couple years ago, the senior pastor of a large church in my area killed himself. He knew that a lot of people in the congregation had been deeply affected by this. Rather than sweep it under the rug, he chose to preach on suicide on Sunday morning. It is a sermon I know I will never forget. It breaks my heart to know that there are so Christians who don't have access to a church like mine. This book does an excellent job of balancing personal responsibility and medicine and genetics. This book should be required at every American seminary and for every pastor.I wish I could say that Dr. Carlson is wrong in his conclusions about how Christians and pastors often treat those with mental illness, and how they often perpetuate stigma and flat out information. But I can't. I have experienced over and over the things he describes in this book. Both from individual Christians and more than one pastor. I rarely talk about just how much I have been deeply wounded by those in the Church. Sadly, the people who do the most damage are often completely unaware of just how much a careless word or pat answer can wound. Most Christians probably think that the wounds are superficial. But I can tell you from personal experience that words, even from people who mean well and have good intention, can cause deep wounds and long lasting pain. Living with a mental illness is hard enough without having to deal with additional guilt, pain, suffering, stigma, and judgement. I am not alone in this. Every Christian should read this. To all Christians and pastors out there: please think before you speak. Most people will probably never tell how deeply you have hurt them. But be aware that something that sounds perfectly fine or helpful to you can be deeply hurtful to the person you are talking.

My family suffered a tragedy. God's law was broken, man's law was broken. Sadly, the place that should have been most likely to help, turned out to be the first place to walk away. I watched as someone who I love lost not only his family, his job, his hope, and his reason to even wake up every day, and then church poured salt into his wounds.I read about this book in Christianity Today Magazine as a 'source' for another story and was incredibly moved. This book takes a hard and Biblical look at things like depression, despair, sin, and redemption - the basis of our faith. In the midst of suffering, so many of us have been reminded that if we just had enough faith, if we would just lean on Jesus, if we would just move on. This becomes the time when many give up, commit suicide, lose hope, and leave their faith behind. This book gently reminds the wounded that Christ sat in a garden in so much emotional pain that he sweated drops of blood. It reminds us that he wept at his friend, Lazarus grave. It reminds of a God in Heaven who loved humanity so much that He allowed His own son to die to pay each of our sin debts.This book is a reminder of the purpose of the church, and of the great love that created the church, the world and each one of us - flawed though we are.

Although I'm glad to live in an age where there is so much more empathy for mental illness, unfortunately it seems I find the most reluctance for understanding the trials that go along with the illness, to be most overlooked, and lack of interest from most members of the Lord's Body. Of those whom I've shared the intimate fact of the illness that I suffer from, their, "meaningful, yet mistakable" comments have been one's such as "pray harder and the Lord will deliver you from this illness", "perhaps you should stop taking your medicines,and rely on faith in the Lord", which I most certainly do by the way. It is actually He who sustains me,and grants me the wisdom and courage to follow my professional doctors,both Psychiatrist, and Psychologist to help me remain stable, even though at times, med's have to be readjusted, or inpatient hospitalizations are required. With all that said, I applaud the author of this book, and thank he,and his entire staff for estabishing such validation that there more often than not, are real causes for the illness, such as brain chemical imbalance. Sincerely Peggy Rittenberry

This is an excellent book for all Christians to read and become aware of what their thoughts, words and actions can do to others who struggle with health concerns of their mind, moods and even some of their actions they are not able to change. Mental illness is no different than physical illness. Individuals with mental health concerns should be treated no different than individuals who have physical health concerns. This book will teach you those things you “think “ you know and possibly give you a little compassion in return!

This book is a little dated (1994) but it is still true that many Christians see mental health issues as a spiritual issue. I was surprised that many of the Christians who held or hold that view are people I with whom I am familiar. I have long said that most churches don't have a biblical theology of mental illness and this books demonstrates that. A recent survey by Lifeway showed that there has been a change in attitude but much more needs to change.)Even though it is 20 yeaqrs old it contained information I found useful.

Really useful book for those interested in pastoral work with those suffering from mental illness.