Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts Paperback – Illustrated, March 1, 2017

I’ve dealt with intrusive thoughts since I was a young teen (of course, at the time I didn’t know there was a name for them- I just thought I was insane.) They have varied in theme. A few weeks ago, I was triggered by something in the media that popped a thought into my head that threw me off very badly. It caused panic attacks that kept me up at night. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t function at all. My husband would get home and I would just sob because I couldn’t cope. I was stuck in the OCD trap of mental rumination of asking and answering question after question with reassurance that only made the thought grow stronger and come up with “even worse” what ifs. I could recognize that it was an intrusive thought, but I had zero idea of what to do about it. Recognizing that it is intrusive is just, unfortunately, not enough. I was so desperate and hopeless and I was starting to think I wouldn’t have a happy future because of this thought- or a future at all. I truly felt like I was in the trenches of hell.I discovered this book after doing some research. I read the negative reviews and almost didn’t purchase it. I decided to anyway, and I am incredibly happy I did. The negative reviews aren’t giving this book the credit it deserves. This book is much more than just “ignoring the thought”. In fact, you’ll learn that actively trying to ignore it is actually fueling it.This book starts by teaching you about the normalcy of intrusive thoughts and will take you through some types that people have. It WILL be distressing to some people who don’t experience thoughts of such severity. I personally do, so it was somewhat comforting to see. There are sexual, harmful, etc. There are unfiltered examples of these thoughts which I am very happy about, because for most people, myself included, Intrusive thoughts can be incredibly graphic.The authors then begin to teach you about the *reaction* to the thought creating an anxious hurricane within you, not the thought itself. It WILL be hard to grasp this concept. Stay strong.You will learn about myths about facts that you may believe, and that I believed when I first started reading the book. There is a Q and A about these thoughts that answers common questions such as “why do the thoughts feel like impulses?” And “I get so scared and the fight to control myself feels so real. Why?” This was incredibly eye-opening for me. I think everyone needs to hear what the authors have to say about that phenomenon. Essentially, it is an anxiety-based illusion, but they get more into the science of it that is super important for intrusive-thought-sufferers NEED to hear. This aspect of experiencing intrusive thoughts can be the most challenging for many.Next is a section that I consider to be the most helpful. It goes over the actual process in the brain that creates to and reacts to these thoughts that makes them such a b*#*# to deal with. Once again, incredibly eye opening. I really started to understand why I was having such a hard time with this thought and why I was panicking and running around in a frenzy when it would pop up.They explain why common strategies that we try to use just don’t work. They give the thought too much power. Even trying to tell yourself the thought is false or having a negative reaction to it actually encourages it to stay by telling it that it is significant. There is so much more that goes into it so BUY this book to learn more about this, but as I’ve said so many times, it’s eye-opening. STOP reassuring yourself. Absolutely none. Not even “that’s false” or “I would never do that”. It does not help, even though you think it is the right reaction to such awful thoughts. Trust me on this, I struggled with this at first too. The authors give names to the voices in your head that grapple with the thoughts and really do a wonderful job at showing you how the questions you try to answer after analyzing the thought (worried voice) are never going to be satisfied by your answers or reassurance (false comfort). They make up dialogue between the two about different thought categories and you will begin to see how this creates a chaotic cycle within your mind.Finally, they start telling you what to do. It’s too much to get into, but it DOES take courage and strength. They lay it all out for you. They will tell you what to do. It is very simple, but it takes a lot of work on your part. They also touch on ways you can bring the thought up and practice without waiting for it to pop in. This is what we are all scared of: exposure. But trust me, they will tell you what to do both when the thought is existing on its own and when you are purposefully bringing it in to practice what they are teaching you. Stick with it, trust the authors and trust yourself most of all. It SUCKS. It’s hard. It will seem counterintuitive. It takes tremendous strength and bravery. They will tell you what you will feel and how to handle it. The anxiety will be intense- they will tell you what to do and how to do it.I have hope that with this book you will learn about your entanglement with your thought, what to do about it, and build tools for an encounter with a future thought.I am nowhere “cured” and never will be. That’s not the goal. I am actually still working with the thought that I have been haunted by the last few weeks. It takes practice and courage. I am still working on my recovery and it will be a journey. But for the first time in a month, I feel hopeful. Buy this book. Be brave.Thank you to the authors for this gem.

I will keep this as a night-stand book to refer back to regularly until the habits are natural. Explains, in-detail, why your attempts at stopping the thoughts keep failing. Shares different information than I've never received from a therapist (even CBT-trained therapist). As a Christian, I am cautious with psychology books; sometimes they take a purely humanist perspective (denying any spiritual realm). I found this to be helpful, neutral, and sensitive in explaining how combatting irrational, intrusive thoughts with an aggressive/fighting disposition (even with using prayer and Scripture) can mistakenly cycle more anxiety by giving the thoughts weight. You can trust God, but also, unintentionally, be feeding a cycle of anxiety by validating intrusive thoughts; the authors speak about how sometimes people have a crisis of faith from doing this.Purchased "Needing to Know For Sure" as soon as I finished this. Will likely buy the "Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety" too.Here are a few notes I made about the book:I recognize that whoosh was "first fear." I can’t control first fear. This is the amygdala doing its job. It’s normal. First fear can be caused by subconscious thoughts. But thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts feel real only because of the emotion I place on them. I will not explore, entertain, or try to solve a problem connected to the thought. I will allow and accept the thought. By validating if it’s true or false, I give weight to the thought. I will not give False Comfort a voice because it feeds Worried Voice and creates more anxiety. You can’t reason with Worried Voice because, unrealistically, Worried Voice demands 100% assurance when tunnel-visioned. I choose to "accept and allow” the thought, which is more of an attitude than technique. I will float above the fray by removing myself from a turbulent experience: holding a neutral, third-party perspective on my thought; it is the opposite of entanglement. Floating is a non-distressed, uninvolved, and non-judgmental perspective. You view the thoughts from an emotionally-removed perspective. The feeling of urgency that comes from intrusive thoughts is a false message; allow time to pass with the thought—in an unrushed accepting response —is how to stop it. Emotional discomfort does not mean real danger. The thought that it might come back is just another intrusive thought. It does not matter if a meaningless thought comes back. The most effective ways to rob thoughts of power is to continue doing what you were doing before. Acceptance is an attitude of allowing the thoughts and not a technique for stopping them. If I am checking if I’m having the thoughts, I’m not accepting. Acceptance is when I don’t care whether the thoughts are there or not because they are unimportant or worthy of attention and because they don’t matter. This reduces anticipatory anxiety, reduces avoidance, and cultivates okayness in the mind.