The DNA of Relationships

When me and my husband were dating he introduce me to this book and it was really enlightening. It’s funny because it was alot of things that I felt like God was helping me deal with or brought to my attention prior to our relationship. But I couldn’t stop raving to people at work about it, especially those who were having marriage issues. I also think if your not christuan or spiritual person this book is still for you! I was able to gift it to my Muslim friend and non Christian and they got alot out of it so I would highly encourage you to read it alone or with your partner ! Good luck

Among the books I've read on marriage relationships this is one of the best. However if both parties are not invested in applying its principles it does no good. That is both people only clean their sides of the street and work to make marriage work then it's a great book but as say you can lead a horse to water.....

Ignore the religious parts if you don't align to that belief system, but...the tools in this book *work*.They are practical, effective, and will build healthy relationships with not just your significant other but everyone in your life who is willing to work with you using these tools (I use them at work all the time!).

This is a very significant ah hah moment in my life. At 49 years old I still live with a significant low self-esteem. I am ready for a change so I am now stimulating that change through the help of books and networking with others.This is what I read yesterday in THE RELATIONSHIPS OF DNA by Gary Smalley: All relationships involve choice. When people treat you badly, you can choose to be trustworthy in a couple of ways. You may need to build a wall and shut the person out, at least for a time. That can be very appropriate. Some people have no clue and are not likely to get a clue anytime soon. Therefore you can treat them cordially, but you don't need to give them access to the most vulnerable part of you. They can shout over the wall, but that's it. The problem with this tactic, of course, is that it hinders a deep relationship. It makes connection impossible. You simply can't hug someone standing on the other side of the wall. The other alternative is more like drawing a line in the sand. You say, " Hey, I'm safeguarding that part of me because I can't trust you with it right now. But I want you to know that I want this relationship with you. Therefore, I will give you repeated opportunities to try again. But, I need you to know that next time I let you in, and every single time thereafter, I'll be requiring the same thing: that you show me through word and deed, that you understand how valuable and vulnerable I am and that you act accordingly. To the degree that you do this, let's be friends. But when you forget, I need you to know that I will protect myself." Your ability to feel safe in a relationship depends more on the second part of trustworthiness than on the first. If I can't trust myself to remember how valuable and vulnerable I am, then my whole well-being depends on other people's remembering. To the degree that they remember, I'm safe; but to the degree that they forget, I'm not. In the case , I'm helpless and have no say.

This was referred to me by a very close friend that was having a really hard time with his relationship. I used to have all the answers for him until I got engaged. Then I understood his struggle. But after listening to these 6 lessons (anywhere from 30-45 mins long). I realized the issue with my relationship, and really most relationships, is the person in the mirror. Assuming the person you are in a relationship is a person that is committed to the relationship and genuinely loves you.The Smalleys (Father & Son) give great practical, bible based advise on improving your relationship. The gist of the lessons are simple. "You are in charge" of your own emotions, feelings, and status of your relationship. The condition of your though life dictates the condition of your physical life more than you could ever imagine. I began applying the lessons immediately and they worked for a while but, like most people, my old habits kept creeping back in. If you are consistent. have a significant other/spouse that is committed. This is the book for you.

I've been a great fan of Gary's works designed to improve relationships. His works have always been inspiring, entertaining. He shows both humility and real clear, practical expertise.I think that the more we invite God into our lives and practice God's love, the smoother will be our relationships.This book is easy to read, is full of hope, accurately identifies problems, and presents practical solutions in clear to understand charts, graphs, and short stories.I've read much of Gary's previous works and watched the videotapes. Superb material that has been very helpful in marriage counseling. I'm not certain that, for those who've read previous works, if this presents new information other than serving as a method of informing couples in distress about the intensive marital counseling sessions.The title, "DNA of Relationships" is misleading to anyone who might think that this book is a de novo scientific based text. Its more of the same (which IS very good).Id have several brief monthly counseling sessions to be sure that the techniques are being applied correctly.If you read / viewed his works before, I didn't really uncover new gems. If this is your first introduction to these works, this book is just fine.

great book

Gary Smalley led me to the Lord in 1995 through his book "Love is a Decision". I have always trusted him to point me back to God and healthy relationships. I read this book years ago when it was first released and it had a profound impact on my life. However, somehow I forgot the material and with many trials slid back into my old habits. I reread the book recently and thought "how long have I been living this way?" I highly recommend this book as well as "Guarding Your Child's Heart". Even if you don't have children, you will soon understand the book is talking to all of us as God's children.

Excellent book if you would like to improve your relationship.

Good book good content, sent it to a friend in Madeira Island because she could not order it via Amazon and get it delivered there.

This book explains deeply the very beginning problems of relationships at all times. It helped me so much to understand why we always struggle in our relationships in general. It touched my real life, very interesting especially for adults.

Good

Very good