Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life Paperback – September 24, 2007

I’m 52 years old and don’t even remember how this book landed in my lap but, it has made me think intensely about my own life and prioritizing what is truly important before it is too late. Great insights into how this family approaches a sometimes taboo situation about death. Highly recommend and especially if you’re on the back nine of this journey.

Why I read this book:I think about death many times per day, about once every five minutes. Do you? I don't know if this is normal or not. I was raised by Christian fundamentalists who thought they knew exactly what happened after death, and every Sunday we sang about it. I stood in the children's choir and sang, "You just dig my grave with a silver spade, 'cause I ain't gonna be here much longer," at age seven. I heard about this book on a Joe Rogan podcast and read it to get the latest in modern death literature.Praise:O'Kelly was a businessman, and he brings his business attitude to his own demise. He plans it and carries it out. The poet Charles Bukowski had similar thoughts toward the end, "It’s a load, it’s something that’s got to be done." —Charles Bukowski, "The Captain is Out to Lunch" This attitude charmed me, and made death feel do-able, something we can all succeed at, funny as that sounds. Maybe it's the humor, the absurdity that charmed me.I also liked O'Kelly's honesty about how he got to be a staggeringly wealthy CEO of KPMG: "As long as I believed I could handle such a high-pressure position, I wanted it, and as long as I wanted it, I would never be satisfied with less. As profound as my devotion to and love for my family were, after I’d achieved a certain level of proficiency and accomplishment I could not have settled for a job just because it guaranteed that I would be home each night by six and could make PTA meetings. People don’t walk into the top spot. They’re driven."Criticism:For all his determination to tie up every loose end, O'Kelly missed a few with me. He said he leaned on his faith during these final weeks, but he presents little evidence of having lived a life of regular devotion to God. He cared enough to endure a big argument with his atheist nephew on the subject of belief, but he didn't tell us what he expected after death.O'Kelly was grateful for his 'success,' but he failed to fully appreciate his own wealth of options. This is important, because the book is very much in the self-help category. O'Kelly recommended or modeled an approach to dying. In many ways, he made an admirable effort, but the majority of readers can't quit their jobs, 'unwind' at their cabin at Lake Tahoe or hire 24-hour nursing care. I don't say this to be unkind, but the man remained a bit of a snob: "I loved golf. Don’t misunderstand me. But maybe I should have done more skiing. No one could say that, in my dying days, I wasn’t still learning." I hope he meant this to be humorous.Conclusion:I recommend this book for anyone interested in the end of life. It feels sincere, O'Kelly makes a few interesting observations, and it's not too long.

"Chasing Daylight" begins with the words "I was blessed..." and that is how I feel about my discovery of this wonderful book. It seems serendipitous that I found "Chasing Daylight". As I read the synopsis, I was transported back 10 years to the day my 48 year old brother Wayne was given the same sentence that Eugene O'Kelly was given. Wayne lived 132 days from that moment and his experience became even more poignant as I read Mr. O'Kelly and his wife's words. I read the book in two nights and its lessons hit home for me in many ways, one of which is in my role as an educator. I m looking to using such lessons as "managing energy" rather than time and "being open to surprises", among others with students and my work with other teachers. In my family life, I plan to not only make but to keep dates and try to live in the present. Finally, as I read, I also felt a well of compassion poring forth to the O'Kelly andd KPMG families for their loss, but immeasurable gratitude for what Mr.O'Kelly and his family shared in those last 100 days. Thank you to them.

I picked up this small book with trepidation since the sub-title is "How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life." It's not that I fear death or want to ignore the inevitable; it is that I did not want this to be a book that trivialized the ultimate rite of passage with platitudes and superstition. I need not have worried - and I was put at ease by the opening quotation from Socrates:"For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they know quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?"O'Kelly describes a full, but not unblemished, life; one that many would aspire to build for themselves. He attained his dream job, Chief Executive Officer of KPMG, had a life partner he deeply loved, and a wonderful daughter who would become wise beyond her years during the coming ordeal. Yet he "felt blessed" when he was told he had only three months to live. While this may seem to be crazy, he goes on to explain that he was given a chance to "unwind" his relationships. That is, to have closure, completeness, and to cement the positive aspects of that relationship in his own mind and that of his family, friends and colleagues.Once over the shock of this completely unexpected diagnosis, O'Kelly and his wife, Corinne, put together a comprehensive plan for his last three months. The amazing attention to detail and the thoroughness of his approach to death allowed him to pack his last days with meaning, substance and joy - along with the inevitable tears and pain. And for those of us not privileged to know O'Kelly personally, he left this amazing and insightful book. It is a "surprise," as O'Kelly himself defined one - "A surprise, I think, is really just an inevitability that we're too unsophisticated to predict."I have the honor and privilege of working with a great group of chief executives. This holiday season, each will find a copy of this book at her or his place around the table.

New ideas and reinforcing existing knowledge

I have a friend with this cancer. I wanted to understand what they are going through, and, maybe, have something helpful to say if they ask