Becoming

Michelle is not just the wife of Barack! She is so much more than that. At the moment I am writing this review, I notice that there are 11,946 reviews of this book at Amazon. I am joining this lengthy list not because I want to convince people to buy and read this book. As an author, I earn royalties on each book I sell, but I didn’t write this one. So, I don’t get any money from its sales on Amazon. I just want to share some of the glimpses that I got into who this author is. What follows are some of the “Aha!” moments I experienced as I listened to Michelle tell me about her life and the things that really matter.Michelle is bold. She looked back on her experiences in second grade and called her teacher “incompetent.” Wow! That is quite an assertion. Was she? I don’t know. I was not there. As an educator for twenty years, I saw how students behaved in response to a lack of leadership, a lack of organization, lack of discipline and order. Chaos, and little/no learning. I get it. I have seen this first hand in nearby classrooms working with very poor minority children. Michelle was fortunate that she had a proactive mother who did something about it by bringing it to the attention of the administration. Michelle had an advocate as a parent, someone fighting for her. Cool!Michelle notices things. She told a story about visiting the Stewarts, friends who moved out to the suburbs, what her brother did (play sports all day), what she did (follow the older girl around), and what happened to their vehicle while it was parked outside (keyed with a sharp object by someone living nearby). What I noticed in this story, though, is that Michelle recognized the effects that being “light-skinned” could have on an individual. She didn’t get all preachy or angry or cynical, but merely wove a concept into a story and let the reader notice (or not notice). In noticed, and I have seen this in the real world. So, I wonder. How must a dark-skinned person feel, a black person whose skin is chocolate-brown, seeing how television shows and movies and advertisements showcase light-skinned black people as “beautiful” and “desirable” (and villains often as very dark-skinned actors). Hmmm. Something to think about in a world where white people dominate, and black people are valued and trusted if they are “light-skinned.”Michelle asks questions. She talks about having two white roommates in college, yet not spending much time with them. Did she hate them, envy them, or just not have a lot in common with them? I wonder. And when Michelle shares details of the parents and grandparents of a roommate, and how horrified they were that their white daughter/granddaughter was rooming with a black girl (Michelle), wow! This is real. Life. Being different, feeling different and uncomfortable. I can’t help but wonder what effect this had on Michelle’s roommate, and if she ever grew to feel more comfortable with being different and with different people. Have we moved past that? Do kids have to keep things secret from their racist and ignorant parents? And worse, are those kids feeling that distrust and angst toward people who have a different skin color or different experiences or are from a different part of the country? I wonder.Michelle endures. As she spoke about having to endure the frustrations that a structured and organized person does who lives with a slob (sorry, that’s my word), I saw parallels to my own life and roommates that I have had. You just have to deal with some things, accepting people as they are and not trying to change them into a clone/copy of you. Good advice, though I am still working on that.Michelle is perceptive. When she spoke about her friend that attended a predominately black university (Howard) while she attended one that was predominately white (Princeton), I understood her comment “she didn’t have to feel that everyday drain of being in a deep minority.” I am the majority almost everywhere I go (except when I donate plasma). I rarely feel like I don’t belong there. I fit in. Being a black girl in a class/room full of whiteness? I don’t know how that feels. That was Michelle’s daily life. And the effects that it had on her, the changes that it made in who she was, how she felt, and how she interacted and reacted to others, is real. That she is able to see this and talk about it says something about her depth of intelligence and character.Michelle notices. When she talked about a lack of hope in the black community, with “a cynicism bred from a thousand small disappointments over time,” that woke me up. It’s some-thing that I haven’t had to deal with in my life. I can’t under-stand it, because I haven’t lived it. I haven’t been judged or critiqued or looked at or discriminated against again and again and again, so I don’t know what this means. I try, but it’s all cerebral. I lack real-world experience.Michelle is responsible. When she talked about the days when her father’s health literally crippled him, yet he lived by the mantra that he and Michelle’s mother had taught them, “handle your own business”, I marked that page so that I would remember it. Handle your own business, and let others handle theirs. That’s a good way to live life.Michelle connects. When she talked about the Mary Tyler Moore Show, and how she looked up to this white female character, I wondered who I followed and admired when I was young. Which characters were independent and funny to me? So many female characters have been portrayed as finding meaning and happiness as wives or mothers, instead of being individuals and entrepreneurs, explorers and adventurers. Supporting roles, roles no longer defining women or femaleness in the modern age. What effect does that have on people? I wonder how many young girls looked up to Mary Tyler Moore.Michelle is strong. When she admitted that she and Barack went to counseling, I thought that was smart. And when she set her own limits and expected Barack to meet the expectations, and moved on whether he did or didn’t, that was good parenting. I love that she didn’t teach her kids that “life began when the man of the house arrived home.”So, what shocked me? The cascade of vehicles and support staff that ride along with the President, her husband, whenever he leaves the White House was something I did not know (page 287). So many people and vehicles and just-in-case emergency response units. Wow!What made me laugh? “Yammering.” “Inexpert critiques.” “Loud and reckless innuendos.” Yep, she called out Donald Trump loud and clear, not mincing words. And, it is true. By the way, a funny thing that the news media noticed about the sales of her book were how in a week she had passed decades of the sales of Trump’s book. A week…decades. Ha! We all know who won that contest!One of the saddest parts of this book related to her husband. For the entire time that her husband was President, the opposition party (Republicans) spoke openly and loudly about keeping him from being successful. The successes that he achieved were successes for Americans, so Republican efforts to minimize and eradicate these successes hurt voters all across this great country. I am still sad at the intensity to destroy the steps forward that he took to make America a better and kinder country. It’s just sad! And when citizens whitewash and ignore all this vitriol and vote for candidates who proclaim that they are going to do even more to destroy Obama’s good work, it saddens me. Michelle is his wife, his partner, the person he talks to and listens to. It saddens me that she must endure this hate from the Right. Her husband was/is a good man. I hope that her kids avoided this negativity.Finally, I wonder if there is still hope for America. When I read about how Michelle (and her husband) consoled staff (and the nation) after the election in 2016, letting them know that hope is always alive when it is acted upon by people who want to make the world a better place, I believed her. One election cannot erase the eight years we just had. One person cannot ruin America or my life. I must have hope that the good people of America will elect a thoughtful and kind President again, one who stands up to injustice and who doesn’t tolerate hate and greediness in her/his administration. Yes, I just said that. Her.If you are interested in learning something about Michelle, then read the book. She wrote it (not a ghost-writer). Read her words, her story. You’ll find out how Michelle dealt with life’s challenges and uncertainties, and get to know a very good per-son.

Despite my waning eyesight and the horrific pain that is part and parcel of living with a terminal illness, I couldn't put this book down. For 2 straight days, every moment I was awake was spent with Michelle Obama's written voice, reminding me of better times when I'd dared to feel emotions such as hope. The Obamas have only been retired for 2 years, but it feels like 20 lifetimes have passed. If there is anything even quasi-positive that can be said of the current, hideous presidency, it's that trump has managed to make whatever time I've got left feel excruciatingly longer."Becoming" is a bittersweet read, but excellent nonetheless. After finishing it (I even read the acknowledgments!) I closed the book and cried for a bit, allowing myself to wonder for the first time how different my illness might have turned out if the GOP cared even 1/100th as much as the Obamas did and do about the wellbeing of ALL Americans. Put bluntly, had the Republicans not put an axe to Obamacare, I might have stood a chance. I might have lived long enough to welcome my first grandchild into the world or travel to all the places I've only dreamt of experiencing. At the very least, were it not for a vestige of slavery known as the electoral college I'd be able to afford medical care and medicinal relief from the all-consuming pain.Beyond how the book personally affected me, there is so much to be learned from it. From little bits of trivia (I had no idea the 1st family has to pay for their own food and highly doubt the current occupants do) to the Obamas relationship with Queen Elizabeth II, "Becoming" was utterly absorbing. It was heartwarming and at times heart-wrenching to watch President Obama's ascent through his wife's loving eyes. You could tell how much it affected the 1st Lady to see her husband grieve over the death of his mother, a doting mom who--had she been able to hold on just a couple months more--would have seen her son elected to the US Senate. And then to watch the very same thing happen all over again to his grandmother directly prior to being elected President of the United States... lets just say you really feel for all affected parties when reading the story through Mrs. Obama's eyes.What was especially refreshing was the candor with which the book was written. She didn't gloss over her personal imperfections in the hopes of coming across as saint-like nor did she whine about the unfairness of things Republicans and the media did to her even though it would be understandable if she had. (She's definitely a stronger woman than I am!) All in all, the beauty of the book was in the realization that Michelle Obama unfiltered is just as inspiring, hopeful, and dignified as the Michelle Obama who'd been constrained by the office of 1st Lady for 8 years.It's impossible to finish this book without remembering how truly lucky we were as a nation to live under the loving, devoted leadership of a man wholly dedicated to serving our country with every fiber of his being. He gave 110% of himself even to those who'd made up their minds to despise him. I have to say it broke my heart reading about all the Obamas did with and for the military when that same military all too often talks of him like something they stepped in. O'Neill, for instance, the Seal who happened to fire the kill shot at bin laden, frequently disparages President Obama on Twitter. (He also makes sickening references to the way he killed 1 of bin laden's sons.) O'Neill looooves trump of course--a treasonist, KGB loving coward--but disparages the very man who gave that Seal his opportunity to go from an unknown soldier to a recognized somebody. Unfortunately, O'Neill is neither the 1st nor last seal I've heard discuss President Obama in a negative light. That newly elected congressman with the eyepatch who got into it with SNL recently said on "New Day" that seal morale is high under trump, but was low under Obama. I don't know what the hell is being taught to the seals, but the vast majority of the ones I've heard speak have been blatant racists. What has trump done for them other than be white? He doesn't visit combat zones, he disparages gold star families, and he couldn't be further up Putin's ass if he tried to be, but morale is high? Ooookay.Despite 8 years of watching Michelle Obama be called everything from an ape to a "tranny" she still believes in going high when others go low. Pat Robertson was scandalized when she dared to wear sleeveless dresses, but claims melania trump's nude lesbian photos are "art." This alleged Christian man saw neither grace nor beauty in Michelle and her daughters, but insists that the KGB plant living in the white house (aka Svetlana "I Don't Really Care Do You?" trump) has both of those attributes. Umm... really?! The woman has had so much plastic surgery that she barely has eye sockets left. But melania is a white, racist, unapologetic birther so the "good" pastor apparently finds grace and beauty in her anyway. (Come to think of it, Pat Robertson is probably the seals' official spiritual advisor.)I don't give a damn what the racists say; Michelle and her daughters are gorgeous inside and out. Their beauty isn't bought in stores or under a plastic surgeon's scalpel. Their toned physiques and radiant skin pay testament to lives lived healthy, happy, and well. Their regal features are striking in their elegance and beauty. And come on now, Michelle Obama's ever so slight overbite is downright adorable!Michelle Obama remains my 1st Lady just as President Obama remains my president. I genuinely admire their ability to go high, but I don't think I'm capable of becoming that person again. Every day I grow a little weaker, every day the pain becomes a little less tolerable, and every night I go to sleep knowing the odds of waking back up become less favorable each time. This book took me back to a better time and place, to the person I'd been the whole of my life prior to 2016. I thank Mrs. Obama for that parting gift. I'll sleep tonight feeling more at peace.*****UPDATE 9/24/19*****I’m happy to say I’m still ticking (knock on wood!) After almost dying in the hospital, I was able to get an in-state waiver which—long story short—allowed me to receive Medicaid. Medicaid doesn’t pay for as much as one would hope so I still struggle to get the care & meds I need, but at least I have some level of care and some meds now. A big thank you to those of you who reached out to me with your uplifting words filled with genuine kindness :)