In Love: A Memoir of Love and Loss

Thank you, Amy Bloom, for writing about your experiences in such an honest and poignant way, of capturing what it truly felt like to actively participate in the letting go of Brian while still trying to hold onto the mundane pleasures and annoyances of your life together, so easily taken for granted outside of his terminal diagnosis. The tender, infuriating, wistful, and terrifying moments were all laid bare, immune to judgment — a glimpse of how perfect and imperfect our humanity can be as we face loss and death of a loved one. My mother is slipping away from us… her vibrant, talented, humorous, loving and confident self is being swallowed by dementia, and I often say it is worse than a death. We are grieving the loss of her while she is still alive. But I found solace in your story, and I can only hope to recount this difficult season of my/her life with as much grace and honesty as you did. Thank you.

This was a moving nonfiction story about a man’s choice of assisted suicide following his Alzheimer’s diagnosis, written courageously and lovingly by his wife. I got the Audible version, read by the author. The book is thought provoking; I don’t think either my husband or I would take this path, but I respect this man’s choice.

That's what Nora Ephron, another witty self deprecating (and, also, Jewish) writer said: "Everything is copy." Well yes, it has to be so, and I don't really mind realizing as I'm reading that this woman must have recorded in her writer's journal, every moment of her life with her husband leading up to his death, with a plan to write about it afterwards. I mean, I'm glad I got to read it. And her writing is mostly very good, even funny, and glib. And almost never annoying (and I am easily annoyed). Although I do think she mentioned the dissolves into tears rather too often. But, what really troubled me was the decision: to go to Switzerland. The way she considered possible nearer-to-hand methods, but dismissed them, it seems to me, rather too quickly. There are many, many ways to end your life without involving others and incriminating them, without undue mess or pain. I just couldn't help thinking that the author (whose husband told her to make all the plans) might have chosen the Switzerland alternative because (1) it is legal, for sure and (2) it would make great copy. I've never read any other account of a death at Dignitas; this may well be the first. And it is a good read, I don't mean to take any of that away from it.

I finished Amy Bloom’s marvelous, blunt, laugh-out-loud, tearful In Love (published in 2022). I am a retired pastor; part of my ministry was in hospice care.It’s a memoir. Which means it’s all true, even the parts of her life with her beloved husband that might be swept under the rug or exaggerated or one-sided.The reader reading the book knows how it will end. Isn’t that the case—for example—with the viewer viewing the film Apollo 13? In Ron Howard’s retelling of that 1970 space disaster, whether you’ve never seen it or watched it a score of times, you know bad things will happen. They do. In Ms. Bloom’s memoir, with its brevity, levity, and gravity, you know her husband Brian is going to die.He does.And I cried when he did.Brian Ameche had early-onset Alzheimer’s. By his mid-sixties and with an early retirement, he and his wife Amy saw the dreary writing on the wall. While his death was an uncertain date on a future calendar, his living was not. Every hour, day, week, month, year would reveal another banal or cruel example of Brian no longer being Brian.While he is still able to function, to make decisions, Amy Bloom’s flawed, delightful husband prefers to end his life. She prefers to support him. In Love is their journey to that moment. In the United States, with about two handfuls of states having death-with-dignity laws, they had no option. First, they didn’t live in a state allowing any form of medically-assisted suicide. Second, even if they had lived in an Oregon or Montana, Brian did NOT have the required "six months or less to live." Maybe his Alzheimer’s, along with a sudden and new “other” disease could take his life in a few months, or maybe his dementia would span decades before shutting down his beleaguered body? Regardless of any state and any current law, their choices to end his life came down to one place.Dignitas.In Switzerland.And that’s all I’m going to tell you.Except that I think it’s an extraordinary book.And also, I can’t help but ask: What would I do? Or ask: What would you do?

Beautiful, honest sad, uplifting. Amy Bloom made me cry and laugh. It is a memoir of love and loss, but one must be so thankful for the love . There is no loss without the love. Read this in one day.

Nice book

I enjoyed reading Amy Bloom's memoir. When there's life, there's death. And it's important to speak about it. Even more important it to discuss one's choice if an ilness like Dementia sets in. I admire this Amy and her late husband Brian. It was very brave to take such course of action. Majority of people live in denial until it's too late. I have read Amy's previous books and love her style, her humour. This memoir will serve it's purpose. Will leave written for eternity the account of their story, with the adding bonus of helping other people who might be going through the same ordeal. Thank you Amy Bloom. Looking forward to your next work.

I read the book wanting to know what it is like to lose your beloved husband. But the author doesn’t reveal anything about what’s it like at the end or after. I felt cheated ! It’s like a half finished book. Nicely written until it ends abortively.

A breath-taking, honest and spare read. Beautifully written and sentimental without the ‘mush’ factor. Thank you for sharing this with us.