Women Who Love Too Much

I liked the compassion in the writers pen.I also felt pain for many of these women who now can gently shine. What a gift to offer them.Thank you for the book

This hit home, very insightful made me question and understand a lot of past relationships and my own toxic patterns

I was so glad when the book arrived. The delivery was prompt and the wrapping was neat.However, I was not satisfied with the condition of the book. Though I have bought used books in the past, this book was dirty.

In therapeutic terms the book is accurate and a tremendous resource for women addicted to men who don't love them. However. In spiritual terms. The book is useless. Having an intense love for someone is a spiritual feeling. HOWEVER, it is not all that it seems. It shows us up to help us heal wounds that reside in us. Only by bringing these feelings into awareness (sometimes through the mirage of 'love') can we begin to change our automatic addiction.I had a problem that dominated my entire adult life. Namely that I was attracted to men that allowed me to right the wrong my absent father had done to me. I knew this from the age of 17. Yet I wasn't able to stop recreating the same situation until I was 31. I would fall hopelessly in love with the man who showed me I wasn't good enough. And wonder why all the nice guys chased me. And why I wasn't interested in them.Meditation ultimately illuminated me as a four-year-old child waiting for my father to pick me up and showed me I had been waiting for all my relationships to 'pick me up'. Unsurprisingly that never came. All I received was pain, suffering and desire. I had to label the last addiction as 'I do not deserve love' in my phone. And every time he called I would say to myself 'I do deserve love'. I blocked him on every platform, lost friends through our acquaintances and went to the police for a restraining order. At that point I had been in turmoil with him (daily crying, his favourite thing was to say he loved me, and not return my calls for weeks - again and again and again). Still I desired him! He did exactly what my father did. The last guy was the worse. Many years after I escaped and started recovery. I forced myself into a relationship with a man I wasn't initially attracted to because initially I was scared I would go for the same absent father guy again and the distraction I thought would prevent me. Frankly, I was at breaking point and desperate to stop hurting myself. Over two years I began to see the nice guy differently each day. He grew more attractive and nicer with each day I stopped wanting pain. Still that desire for pain was so strong in me. It was only a total reordering of my life when I gave it up. New career. New friends. New hobbies. And importantly a meditation practice that helped me see and recover from my addiction to painful romantic relationships with men.I also found the science behind my addiction beneficial to learn about in a book called 'Why you love a guy who doesn't love you. And how to stop'. Recommended reading if you are a woman, addicted to love. Like I was and NEED the science as to what is happening to you.I have been happily married for years now. And when I hear friends describe what I suffered for my twenties I tell them to read this book and go to a Vipassana meditation retreat. The book is written for other therapists and provides little in the way of clear guidance for how to change your behaviour. Through meditation you gain awareness. And in awareness you can let go of even the strongest patterns. I wish you total recovery. We all deserve to be loved.

I heard Prof Steve Peters recommending this on his interview during DOAC for women who had been in domestic relationships. I immediately bought it and I was not disappointed. The whole book is filled with different women who I found entirely relatable, but because it is so relatable it makes it a difficult read.

It has lot of anecdotes so it's easy to understand what she might be explaining. If you already know about the topic might not be new information.

I was lent the book and it stayed on my bookshelf for months, unread. I had read many books on self development, so, this one did not really attract me because of the title. I did not identify myself as a ''woman who loved too much'' and I did not come from an alcoholic environment. But when I started to read it, I really got into it. I would say that the beginning (the setting of the book) is a bit slow, and the stories are quite cliche (but then again, they would be because they are every day life stories by real individuals) but once you go on, you will discover that the title is misleading or confusing. It is not just about women who love too much one man, it is also about women who give too much , who accept too much and those who would take their friends' problems on board like they were their own.I recommend buying this book and read it in its entirety because the self help bit comes at the end. If you wonder why your friends always take advantage of you, that you are there when they need you but they disappear when you need them, when you are the one to listen but they never have time for your problems, then this book is for you, whether you have a problem in your relationship with your man or not. If your life is give, give, give and you never take or take so little in return and it bothers you, then go ahead and read it. There needs to be balance in life, and if it is the right of others to ask, it is our prerogative to be able to say NO, when things are inconvenient for us. It is not to learn how to be selfish, but it is to learn how to recognise when we are being taken for a mug. It is to learn how to be selective in how and when we want to help people. Some people will always have the same problems, year in , year out, and not matter what you do, as a friend or as a partner, they will use you as a walking stick and discard you when they find better. They actually use you for doing the jobs they should be doing, and they appeal to your sense of pity and nurturing. And if you think they need you, then think again. They do not need you, per se, they just need someone who will fulfill their needs. So many times it happens that a woman will wait for years to leave a man because she thinks he needs her, will fall apart without her but as soon as they find the courage to leave him, he gets someone else in. The same with some so called friends. No one is irreplaceable nor indispensable for them. It is not easy to assertive, it takes a lot of courage and a lot of work, but think about it: what is better, to be loved and used/abused, or to be loved and respected?This book, like any other self help book, will not change your life. But you will by following the advices given.I would like to add that this might not be the best book for someone who is just starting her journey in self discovery and self awareness. Maybe best to start with this book: You Can Heal Your Life: 20th Anniversary Edition

I was reluctant to read this book thinking it might be a self-help book that states the obvious. Thankfully it is not. It is a very insightful read and helps the reader to think about their part in their relationships. Basically, if you’re putting up with too much in a relationship and forget to prioritise yourself you may have the disease of loving too much. Loads of interesting case studies are used to explain inter-relational dynamics. Best of all it has the potential to put you on the right path to loving yourself as the first priority. A must in healthy existence.