Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything

In “Ask For More – 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything,” Professor Alexandra Carter presents the reader with a two-part framework for use in any negotiations endeavor and navigating and steering relationships through leading asking questions; and not just any questions, but the best questions. She describes Part I as, “The Mirror,” and Part II as, “The Window,” with each part asking questions of the person who is looking at themselves in The Mirror, and to other person(s) involved in the negotiation, through The Window. The five, best open-ended questions to ask in each part seek to identify and define the following: (1) the problem/goal; (2) needs; (3) feelings/concerns; (4) previous success; and (5) the first step. And that the answers to these important questions can help steer conversations, relationships, and negotiations that will increase the likelihood of a desired negotiation destination.Professor Carter brings you on her book’s journey with an enormous amount of world-class negotiation experience, in addition to descriptions and results of research studies regarding human behavior, communication (verbal and non-verbal), human needs (including the basics and beyond), and wonderfully detailed descriptions of all kinds of real-life examples of negotations peppered throughout her book. She also speaks to the destination of any negotiation, i.e where you want to end up, and delightfully uses the metaphor of being in a canoe in the waters of Hawaii, and what it takes to navigate the canoe to an intended beach destination, and how one actually goes about trying to do that; not only in the gentle and smooth waters, but in tumultuous rapids also.There are many important aspects in the book. To this reader, one of the most important aspects is the part about “The Mirror,” in that knowing oneself by spending the time it takes to honestly ponder, reflect, and journal one’s personal thoughts, feelings, expectations, and dreams to answer those five questions, in an attempt to not only improve one’s skills in formal negotiations, but to also navigate the relationships in life’s journey, ultimately trying to seek a desired quality of life, what that looks like, who’s in it, and how it can become a reality.In the book’s introduction, Professor Carter begins with a quote: “We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers.”- Carl SaganAnd at the beginning of Part 2 (The Window), there’s this: “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”-Ernest HemingwayProfessor Carter's book (backed up with her expertise, knowledge, skills, abilities, experience, with the support of the distinguished research of others) posits that to improve negotiations, and skillfully navigate the relatationships in them increases the likelihood of a desired, “successful,” outcome; and that one needs to know oneself by answering those five important questions, and then, (and only then), asking those same questions of others in the negotiations to try and steer the participants toward their ultimate desired destination; whether it’s on a beautiful beach in Hawaii, or in some other happy place.This book is absolutely incredible!Cheers, Alex!Crystal

At first glance, you might think this book is not for you. You might not be a corporate lawyer or a CEO, or you might think that you are already the type to ask too many questions and more questions may just annoy the people in your life--OR you might be the type that hates being asked questions and even the idea of teaching people to ask more questions exhausts you. But I assure you that this book is even for those who hate questions.Most people, whether they are conscious of it or not, have a dream they are working towards. It could be happy and healthy children, a strong and stable marriage, a satisfying and meaningful job--but a lot of times we expend energy striving for these things without the right tools, and sometimes without even a map. Alex provides simple, easy, and radical tools to help restructure the way we approach the goals in our lives. Here are some key things that Alex does differently that has changed the way I approach my life: she teaches that you should focus on the people to learn more about the problem; she teaches you that there is no "right thing to say," but there is a way to make the person across the table feel safe to share their honest thoughts--even if it's messy at first.Alex isn't lecturing from the peak of Mount Everest, reminding everyone at base camp to bring our water bottles. She's climbing up with us, one step at a time, by sharing her genuine and honest, and at times deeply personal, thoughts in each chapter. A great read, and worth the time for everyone.

This book was amazing. I purchased the book because I own a small business and negotiating is part of my day to day. The book helped me save a relationship with a customer and learn how to handle heated situations. But even more importantly it helped me negotiate with myself. I had recently felt loss after reaching some career milestones and not getting the satisfaction and happiness that I thought would come with it. Reading this book helped me understand what I was feeling and why. It also help me make a plan to get back to the happy me. We all have negotiations in our life. It can be between clients, suppliers or even a partner or a friend but the hardest negotiations are the ones that take place within and thats what this book helped me with the most.

So many things I did not know nor understand about negotiating. Now, I can use the skills I have learned from this very good book.

I originally checked out the sample for this book. It seemed interesting. I feel like I’m not always outspoken so I could always use some additional communication skills. I started listening to the first few chapters on Scribd and realized I just needed a hard copy to reference. If you think this book is just for negotiating your salary, this is soooo much more! Negotiating is a part of anything. With your significant other. With your kids. With your coworkers. With clients or patients. The list is endless. If you feel like you’re not good at negotiating, this book is for you. Alexandra goes through difference uses of negotiating. Her experience with mediation has helped her write this book. It has so much real life application that it can apply to anyone!I really enjoyed this book and excited to see how my first negotiation turns out. This is a perfect book to gift someone!

Este es un GRAN libro para aprender a negociar escrito por una de las mejores profesoras del tema en Estados Unidos. Consta de dos partes principales: El espejo: que es verse a si mismo y primero clarificar lo que se quiere tanto de manera tangible como intangible y aprender a guiar poco a poco la conversación hacia donde se quiere llevar y la segunda parte: La ventana donde es ver el punto de vista y objetivos del otro. Un libro tanto para la vida personal como profesional y altamente recomendable. De lo mejor que he leído del tema y muy actual

Gostei do livro pois é muito bem escrito, de fácil leitura, e coloca reflexões importantes para o negociador.Naturalmente, serve também para vendas, pois sugere perguntas inteligentes que poderão ser utilizadas também para essa finalidade.

Ask for more is a great read, with useful insights and excellent actionable advices. The concrete case-studies are a true gift! I highly recommend this book!

Unlike other self-help "negotiation" books that only try to boost your confidence to become a more aggressive negotiator, this book provides tested and proven methods that can be actually compatible with one's moral values. Negotiation is not a zero-sum single event. It is a relationship worth steering over time.This book helped me get a more significant raise from my employer in the year of the pandemic! They actually gave me More than what I asked for.This book is a great guide for all types of relationships: Professional, Family, Friendship, etc.Alexandra Carter not only gives you tools to look through the window and understand the person on the other side of the negotiation table, but she also guides you to look in the mirror and see what is it that you really need.

Was a little hesitant to buy a used book, but the quality of book was good.