What to Do When He Says, I Don’t Love You Anymore

David Clarke is a therapist who counsels lots of couples going through hard times. His advice is about restructuring a marriage and setting new boundaries when lines have been crossed. If your husband has told you that you should just agree to a divorce and divide the money then you should be very worried and cautious about what might happen next. Your very security is being pulled out from underneath you and you should be very angry about this immediately. If you are not angry, reading this book will clue you in to the reality of your situation.This book is also about husbands who stray and what to do about that. The advice is a beyond tough love approach and takes a very strong person to implement. In fact the author suggests lots of ways to gain support in your community before you even start the process. What he suggests may sound totally over the top and you might actually not be that angry until the situation becomes worse. When you realize what is being stolen from you then you might decide to take action against forces working to destroy you.I am happy I read this book as it alerted me to a lot of things I wasn't paying attention to. The subtle hints of trouble are real and marriages on the brink of divorce need speedy and corrective action. You may have let things coast for years or even decades before reading this book. Even simple things like just not cooking for three weeks may make a man miss what he regularly is used to. When dinner is not on the table, the wife seems calm and comfortable about the situation and needs are not being met, the man may come around sooner than expected. "Are we ever going to the grocery store again?" he may ask. A man who thinks he wants to be a bachelor again should get a taste of what that really entails.So overall I think the advice is good but it is a risk you are going to decide to take. The author says you have nothing to lose, but it is probably a fact that a small percentage will lose their relationship because it was dead long ago. For those wives who win the war however, victory will be sweet.I am not a psychologist or doctor nor am I a therapist I've just seen what works for some men. The tough love approach may be a last resort! But what is worse is divorce and being separated from the man you love. I do however think prayer is much more powerful than the author indicates. A woman who gets down on her knees and begs God for help is more likely to recover her marriage in the end. Because God will then lead her to books like this! End of story!~The Rebecca Review

It has so many good points. So many ways to approach difficult situations. Would recommend to anyone that have a spouse who is not treating you with the respect that you deserve.

Best Biblical advice on tough love I have EVER read! It catapults the abused into a position of powerful, confrontational, methods to snap a sinning spouse back to biblical behaviors. Tough love on steroids! Abused and betrayed spouses Dr. Clarke’s proven steps will restore your self confidence one step at a time. I believe his approach is a long overdue SHOUT OUT to Christian leadership who fail to help the desperate cries of the abused. Excellent content for successful attempts to bring the abuser face to face with their sinful behaviors and what they are about to lose if the abuser doesn’t repent and commit to ALL the steps necessary to heal the abused as well as spiritual realignment; first of themselves then the marriage and any children. No matter where your “love” state of mind may be in your marriage, I urge you in faith to do these steps, connect with Dr. Clarke and give yourself the opportunity to see what God can do and provide yourself the peace of mind that you did everything you knew to do to save your marriage and family. It will be a long journey, think about the best and worst case potential outcomes! I say the abused deserves to know they did this tough love approach even if the abuser refuses to return and follow Christ. Abused you can truly say you did everything you could to save your marriage! Who knows that you have not been called to such a time as this. It’s not a coincident you’re reading this content-God is good at being God! It’s hard work so Trust the proven process you can do it!

Reading this book was very cathartic for me in some ways. It gave me permission to feel angry at the way I was treated and to vent my anger in ways that really helped me in dealing with the pain and devastation I still feel. I haven't been able to express any of this to the person who hurt me because she's out of my life now but even so it enabled me to stop making excuses for the way she treated me and to squarely confront her actions for myself. The one danger for me was allowing the anger to remain after holding it in for such a long time. I still pray about it every day. My life will never be the same again but Dr. Clarke's book is something the Lord is using to help me to work through things emotionally and spiritually. This is a very valuable book for the wounded spouse in an adulterous situation and probably the only feasible path to any possible healthy reconciliation with the wandering spouse. It reminds me a lot of Dr. Dobson's book Love Must Be Tough and applies the same principles even more vigorously and directly.

This book saved my marriage, along with creating boundaries and trusting God. This book reminded me that I am worthy of love, I am not a door mat, and I am the prize. If your husband/wife is on the verge of walking out on you, let them walk, know that when they say they’re in love with someone else or willing to look you in the eye and tell you they’re no longer in love with you. Then that is you cue to run, the image of the marriage you had is dead. It does not exist and the sooner you can get on the same page as them the sooner they will realize how amazing you truly are. It’s their loss not yours, even if your world feels as if its crumbling down. This book with help you get rid of a wish bone and build a back bone. Chances are you’ve been doing it way to long on your own and have just been in denial. It is not your job to fix what they’re is so willing to throw away. Please know that if you were able to find happiness in something so broken how happy you’d be with someone willing to put as much effort into your relationship as you’ve done throughout these time. Even if that time spent is finding yourself. This book provides amazing tools to apply to a situation that cannot be accomplished on your own. It’s a great read filled with eye opening revelations and a MUST Buy!!

Brilliant for helping a betrayed spouse get their head together, amid a sea of confusion; make a decent plan of action, know what help to get and where to get it, and execute it. The list of excuses a spouse will throw at you really are textbook... it's brilliant. I've read LOADS of books and not found material like this.I had tried for years to save my marriage with no effect. After 4 years apart I read the book, did the plan and it helped me draw a line under the relationship, having done every strategy available to me over that period.The book made me realise why the other strategies had not worked - because he was not 100% committed to the relationship. And this is what it challenges. AND it offers hope, because anyone who is only 50% committed can change and become 100%...Standing up to my spouse was really terrifying for me which is why I avoided it for years, but really it's the best thing... speak the truth in love. If you don't tell the truth they don't get the chance to know you and the relationship's built on a farce. You can do this. You can.If you are reading this and you are unsure about buying it, buy it. What do you have to lose? If it's not for you resell it.

I hard fact, no nonsense approach to the sin of adultery in an attempt to save the victim from further damage.