It Takes a Family: Creating Lasting Sobriety, Togetherness, and Happiness (Love First Family Recovery)

As a professional working with families in the Addiction Recovery field, this is the book that I recommend most consistently. There is a lot of confusion and stigma surrounding alcohol and drug addiction, and Debra Jay has found a way to explain this disease in a way that is accessible to family members - who are most frequently in crisis. Not only is this better understanding helpful to loved ones, this book also creates a clear path forward toward healing together - with the ultimate goal of happiness. There is a continuous reminder within the book that people who struggle with this disease are redeemable, and that most families want to belong to each other - even though the impact of this disease breaks down this connection. As Jay states in her book, "We remember that none of us is perfect, but we are all deserving of love."

I just recently celebrated 14 years in my own recovery from alcoholism and cannot begin to express the gratitude I have for my family's support. The family program at treatment started us on a journey of understanding and compassion not only for ourselves but also for our family members who have also been affected by the horrible disease of addiction. For the past six years, we have used Structured Family Recovery (1st and 2nd edition) to support our recovery. Thank you Debra Jay for understanding the need we all have to be connected and the power that exists within the family!

I could not get to the second chapter. The authors belittle you and say that you will not succeed in your sobriety journey if you do NOT do the 12 steps.. it is repeated paragraph after paragraph. I felt chastised and talked down to. That is EXACTLY why I do not attend AA meetings. I am almost 17 months into my sobriety journey and have not stepped into a church basement with bad coffee. I have my own groups, I have my own support. This book was a huge let down. The dogma of AA is not the only way for sobriety to be successful. I do not need my quit lit to lecture me. I'll go back to my Annie Grace and Laura McKowen.

As a certified addiction professional who has worked at inpatient treatment, outpatient treatment and with private families I always recommend “It Takes A Family” by Debra Jay. This book and Structured Family Recovery® process bring integrity and love back to the family in a very specific way. Debra Jay uses the language of recovery and not professional jargon. Debra and Jeff Jay are rewriting the family legacy for future generations. I am shocked at the recent negative review, it is meritless. What has been written is absolutely not true. Having used “It Takes a Family” for many years I can assure you that families find it kind, honest and meaningful. Families are taken off the sidelines of recovery and have a process for the whole family to heal.You can listen to Debra read the introduction and first chapter at lovefirst.net by scrolling down a bit on that first page. Maybe you’ll listen with a cup of coffee it’s just 24 minutes.

As someone in recovery and who have loved ones in active addiction, this was amazing. Highly recommend!!!