Married...But Lonely: Stop Merely Existing. Start Living Intimately

My husband and I have been married for 36 years. We went through a very challenging period in our marriage. We separated for a few years....one week from divorce but God had different plans for us. We reconciled and are doing a lot better than we were.. However there are challenges and I was at a point of thinking about separating againMy husband is an introvert. It's very difficult for him to express his feelings. He is a good man with good morals. Long story short, since we reconciled I have been feeling emotionally disconnected from him...which left me feeling a bit lonely. I prayed to God to help my marriage. I saw small improvements but still lonely. He will do just about anyting for me except showing and sharing his deep feelings. This book really hit the nail on the head. I've learned more from this book than I did from my counselor. I had to learn to allow my husband to be able to share his feelings ; which he is beginning to do. I did not have to go through the 7 steps but will use them if necessary. I am also working on forgiving my husband and myself.If you are married to a Intimacy Avoider , I would highly recommend this book.

I have bought so many copies of this book and given to people who's marriages were in dire straights. My husband is a pastor and yes even we aren't immune to problems. Life happens, bills come, cars breakdown and marriage is hard! Dr. Clarke has a practical and Biblical approach to communication by helping us understand why God made us different (husbands and wives) and how we can embrace those differences instead of choking each other. He's funny and shares lots of in depth steps to help with emotional baggage and repressed feelings. This book actually helped us more than thousands spent in Christian counseling.

I love my husband and he loves me but our marriage sucks. He isn't a bad guy and doesn't cheat on me but he also doesn't meet my needs or make me feel loved. I felt stuck and prayed that God would help me find a solution. This book was written about my marriage and I am pretty sure this author has read my mind and has been spying on my marriage(not really). For the first time in a long time I have hope and step by step detailed instructions to help me fix the problems. If you are a Christian wife in an unhappy marriage I would definitely recommend this book. It focuses on what you can do to bring about change, whether or not your husband thinks it is needed. Read the free preview and see if he is talking about you and your marriage.

Read this book when I was going through a very difficult season in my marriage and I was able to apply some of the things Dr. Clarke recommended. One of the things he recommended was to write down everything that you were might be harboring in you that has caused the anger, resentment and or bitterness to build up. That was truly therapeutic, I didn't release how much I was holding until I started putting it down on paper. We are in better place now and able to talk through some stuff but I can say I am a happier wife...as we continue working on our relationship.

A lot of good information....I wasn't sure if the book was advertised as a marriage manual for Christians, but it should have been, because then people of other faiths (such as me, a Muslim) would know to expect a lot of references to the Bible. Great analysis of men being IA (intimacy avoiders), and I like how the author holds wives and women accountable for the part that they play in not having harmony with their spouses or significant other. Get it and extract the jewels from it!

Worst marriage book I've ever read (and I've read alot).At the beginning you take a test answering yes or no questions about your husband. If you answer yes at least 10 times your husband is an intamacy avoider. The whole book is based on the assumption I will answer yes at least 10 times. Guess what? I didn't. Now what? The rest of the book is useless to me already. I couldn't make it past Chapter 4 where I am told to tell my husband we need to have a talk in 3 days with no kids around then let him sweat about it, giving him no details the entire time then tell him how unhappy I am and ask him to read 3 chapters in the book. I am not supposed to reassure him everything will be okay but again make him worry. This is supposed to be drastic enough to make him want to change. What??? I would be devistated if my husband did this to me, there is no way I'm putting him through that. The cover says there are "Seven Steps You Can Take With or Without Your Spouse's Help". How would I do that step with his help? The chapters he's supposed to read are supposed to highlight to him what God says about being a good husband. Okay, I'm a Christian and I think thats great but my husband is not and wont give a rats behind about what God has to say.This book would just cause torment, torture, and more loneliness and emotional seperation in my marriage.

This book was ok for me in that it did indeed validate a lot of my feelings. However; my husband is not anything like the man described by the author. I do not believe that the "tactics" the author asked me to lay out for my husband would work. The husband in the book scenarios is a big dumb sex-crazed neanderthal. I felt the book was asking me to bait him and manipulate him because he's too stupid to understand straight forward honest conversation. I respect my husband too much to play games and try to trick him into feeling worried or threatened by me. I did appreciate the scriptural references and found them helpful.

Excellent book which I found informative, enlightening, and extremely helpful. Some approaches presented I found questionable, but all in all the format and information provided were spot on. I would recommend this to others who feel they have the need for it, but encourage them to work the steps they offer as both short and long-term solutions to problems many of us face.

I can understand how some could not 'get' on board with the advice in this book, as it is geared more towards those already in love with the Lord. But there are loads of lonely married people out there and it's quite obvious that mainstream advisors/marriage counselors just ain't putting a dent in the rate that divorce has taken the place as the top option. In this book there are insights and basic principles that could be beneficial across the board, whether one is religious or not. But submission of any kind seems to be one of the most taboo words of all time. The author, using scripture and lots of wisdom from experience, clearly shows God covers every side of what is expected of who in order to have and maintain the kind of marriage he has always wanted for both men and women, ie a blessing and delight for both members and an example of his love to any who observe it. The first thing is being willing to face up to it and wanting to do something about it that will be definitive. I personally learned alot from this book and not only for my own marriage but as one of my reference tools when trying to help others out next time. God has given marriage to us as a gift from him. A gift worth doing all we can to nurture and to preserve it in the way he intended. I believe that's what this little book is all about. I like it's practicality and simplicity. Good stuff.

Very insightful. Just too much talk about god. Leave out the religious part (unless you're religious) and you'll like it

Surprisingly Really funny and entertaining to read for such a serious topic. Step by step process, like counselling but cheaper. For wives who have an intimacy avoiding husband or vice versa. 3 chapters are directly for the husband.

Most excellent book - really stands up for the "wife". Actually teaches the husband how to treat her.I would recommend this to everyone, even if you don't have marriage issues.

I read this book as a research tool, and I have to say, I have never ever left a poor book review before yet I'm moved to with this one. At first I was merely uncomfortable with the highly religious subtext, but finding some interesting ideas in between, I soldiered on. It was around this point that I stopped reading:Submission means to allow your husband to be the leader in your relationship and to yield to his authority. Not because he is superior, is more intelligent, or has more ability, but because this is the role God commands you to fulfil.' As we say here in Scotland, 'boak'. What a waste of time and money, I think this man is still living in the dark ages. Women, please do not listen to this. These are ideas that should stay in the 50's where they belong.